Back Spasms

I've spent the last four days recovering from back spasms...so my once exciting week, which looked hopeful on Sunday for my two days off Wednesday and today, has now turned into nothing but let's just walk around to loosen the back muscles and I'll get up every hour to walk around and hopefully I can stand without it hurting.

Well, that happened early this morning -- like after midnight. Then, after eight hours of sleep, my back tightened. Now it's starting to loosen where it doesn't hurt so much. I just want it to go away.

The moral of the story is: always stretch before you plan to work out and don't over do it.

Congratulations to South Park!!!

South Park's "Trapped in the Closet" episode was nominated for an Emmy.

Here is the ad they took out in this week's Variety Magazine.

"Trapped in the Closet" is the episode that makes fun of Scientology and has only become more famous because of the controversy Tom Cruise has made by his whining.

If Tom Cruise would just come out of the closet...

CFD is over, life is back to normal

Cheyenne Frontier Days is over. Now life can go back to normal.

The end of CFD means:
1. The population shrinks back to 53,000, instead of 106,000. While I am used to living or dealing with a bigger town (Rochester... MADISON!), it's nice to shrink back to a population that is manageable.

2. No more hordes of Cops downtown every night.

3. Less tight Wranglers, beltbuckles, boots and big cowboy hats. (Also, fewer hicks and less attitude about "maintaining the cowboy/rodeo way of life.")

Don't get me wrong. CFD is an interesting experience when in Cheyenne. It's definitely worth experiencing once in your lifetime -- but as a newcomer, jumping right into CFD was fun but now I'm ready for something a little more slow paced.

Friday's excitement

I found out that today some guy apparently jumped out of a third story window.

The guy was an escaped convict from Colorado. Somehow police learned he was somewhere in our apartment complex. (Thankfully in another building.) He walked outside, saw the sheriff's squad cars, ran back in and decided to jump out a top window.

There's nothing to break his fall.

So instead of just going to jail, he is now in jail with another charge of fleeing an officer and hopefully a broken bone of some sort.

The best part is that no one knew it was going on when he was arrested.

My first Frontier Days Rodeo, also known as "The Daddy of 'em all."

Register Cliff at sunset near Guernsey, Wyo. on July 20, 2006. Register Cliff is a spot where Mormon settlers and other pioneers etched their name in the rock to provide a record of their passing. Silly Mormons and their records (and their multiple wives).

Cheyenne Frontier Days

It's now Friday. And I've never been so glad to see a week almost over.

This week has been Frontier Days and while it is fun to see how this wild western town celebrates the "Daddy of 'em all," it has created a hectic deadline rush at work and it has made the town seem overcrowded.

I'm used to overcrowding...but... it's just much more relaxing to go at a slower pace.

Now that's a metamorphesis. I've been here for almost a month and I've already assimilated into wanting the easygoing pace that the locals are notorious for.

Weird.

The Oregon Trail

(I apologize in advance if you're too young or too old to get the joke here.)

Dear Friends and Family,

Megan and I traveled to the Oregon Trail ruts yesterday. These are ruts left in the ground from when the settlers traveled West some 160+ years ago in Conestoga Wagons.

The attached photo (Oregon Trail.jpg) is something we stumbled upon while walking near the Oregon Trail...I've stumbled across stuff like that before but only on the computer.

We had some other odd circumstances. We had to caulk the Mountaineer to crosse the Platte River because we couldn't find an Indian to help us ford the river and it's too narrow to take a $5 ferry across. (Platte River.jpg)

I apologize for the bad angle, but Megan is sick with typhoid fever, the whooping cough and has a broken leg.

The children aren't doing well either. Assmaster has cholera. Shithead has dysentery. And Turd Ferguson is trying to overcome a rattlesnake bite.

But it gets worse. A thief came and stole 3 sets of clothing last night. We're down to 20 bullets. Three of the oxen are sick and I had to put one down already. The goddamn wagon keeps breaking and I can't repair the axle, wheels or the tongue. We're all in poor health and down to our last 300 lbs. of food and everytime I go hunting I can only find these goddamn jack rabbits.

The buffalo are all gone and even if I could shoot one, I can only carry 100 lbs. of food per day.

Motherfucker. Who's idea was it to settle out west anyway? "THERE'S GOLD," they said. FUCK 'EM. FUCK 'EM ALL.

Hope all is well with you,
Adam and Megan

I finally got internet...

Ten years ago, life without the internet would not have been so bad.

But in the 21st century, living without an internet connection (even dial-up) is torture.

Sure, I made do over the course of the last week playing Xbox games and watching reruns of Simpsons and Seinfeld on DVD. Sure, I kept busy by Wednesday as I started my job.

But, today was much needed. Despite going to bed around 3:30 a.m. this morning after work, I somehow managed to wake up at 8:30 a.m. in time for the cable guy to install cable.

By noon, I had phone. Too bad UPS is retarded. (They showed up at 7:10 p.m.) What can brown do for me? How about deliver my fucking stuff on time? I even told the Customer Service Rep at Qwest that they should send their shit via the United States Postal Service, at least then I don't have to wait around all day with my thumb up my ass...

I found stuff to do however. I went to the YMCA to work out, and on my drive back I saw a sight that made me feel more at home -- Canadian Geese in a park near a pond. Shit that was cheap entertainment when I was a kid. My mom would give me a quarter, I'd buy a 16 oz. cup worth of corn and feed and feed the geese at Silver Lake in Rochester.

I stopped at our local Barnes and Noble -- which, much to my chagrin, closes at 9 p.m. But, if I'm working until 1 a.m., B&N trips will best be reserved for days off or online shopping. Whilst at B&N, I found Maddox's new book, "The Alphabet of Manliness."

So, I bought it. Which was a good move on my part -- despite the fact that I nearly maxxed out my credit card on gas on the way out here and am now waiting to be reimbursed, in addition to my first paycheck next Wednesday -- because I came home, turned on the TV and had "M*A*S*H" on in the background as I laughed for two hours while thumbing through this hilarious, yet evil, book. (I didn't need to laugh at "M*A*S*H" as I've seen the film about a million times -- but still managed to chuckle at the line: "I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps?" "He was drafted."

I expected the book to be,...quite manly with homages to Pirates, lumberjacks, beef jerky and the usual Maddox rhetoric (I can't believe I just used one of the $6 WSU English Department cliche and overused words...) of beating up old people, beating up children, eating hot sauce, beef jerky and why he rules. The thing is that Maddox would be an awesome Op/Ed writer at a college newspaper because he says things for pure shock value as countless pussies e-mail him to tell him he's an asshole or that they hope he rots in hell.

What's funny about that, though, is that this guy's Web site is the most popular site on the Internet and it grew solely by word-of-mouth.

The most productive thing I did today? I worked out and did laundry. Tomorrow I'm going to get a haircut and I might drive around for a bit? Haven't decided yet.

I might go get some Betta's, too, as Max (Betta Max) died before I even left. The new one will be named VHS.

I'm here

I arrived on Friday, June 30 and have spent this first week adjusting.

I don't have internet, so I'm using hours at a local CyberCafe/gaming place in the mall. My boxes are almost all unpacked and my sole existence thus far has been Simpsons and Seinfeld on DVD mixed with some Xbox.

The first few days were an awakening and a realization that my life has changed. I'm no longer living in the Midwest and things are very different here.

But, once I got back to the new pad from dropping my step-dad off at the airport, I began setting up my electronics and entertainment.

I turned on the Xbox and began to relax.

Cheyenne is starting to feel like home.

Whose idea was this?

I'm sick of the move already.

I'm not sick of packing boxes; I'm not sick of wanting to move. I'm super excited to live in Cheyenne and start my new job. No, I'm sick of everybody wanting to take advantage of you when you're spending a shitload of money.

First, there's the rent. Yes, we signed a lease. Yes, we're responsible for paying the rent on the place we live in if it doesn't rent. So, our ever trustworthy and awesome landlord has found a new way to fuck us over. It's called, "Barely trying to rent this place out." By advertising only in the Sauk Prairie Star, she has allowed her ad to be seen by a whopping three people.

Had she advertised in the Eagle, which would've gotten the apartment listed on Madison.com, the apartment would be rented by now.

She's probably going to make us pay electric, too.

Then again, what do you expect? This is the same greedy whore who was about to sell one of her buildings -- which just so happens to be one of the most historic in Sauk City...and was named to the State Historical Register's most endangered list -- so that it could be demolished to make way for a Walgreens.

The pinnacle came when she didn't bother to tell her tenants that the building was going to be demolished and they found out about it from the newspaper. Megan and I had previously lived in the building and she didn't tell us this either but was threatening to make us pay rent if we weren't going to rent with them -- despite the fact that Megan's asthma was terrible from others smoking in their apartments and the smoke coming in through upstairs windows.

Needless to say, we didn't get off on the right foot and the bitch hates us.

Next, there's U.S. Cellular. These jokers want $150 each for two cell phones that will be rendered useless because we're moving. While most cell phone companies are understanding and just ask for some proof that you're moving so they can cancel your contract -- no questions asked -- these money-hungry whores.

Then there is the new power company, whose reps are asking that we put down a deposit of $150 because I have never had a utility in my name...because I had to pay a municipality and not a real company.

Oh, but it gets better.

If my new company doesn't have Merrill Lynch, I have to withdraw my 401k or retirement or something from my present company. (It's mandatory.) And then, I get stuck paying 20 percent income tax when I withdraw and then I get to pay another tax at the end of the year.

So this is all happening before U-Haul is going to decide to take a chunk at me and the gas pumps take a bite out of my ass. In addition, I have already purchased health insurance and I need to go get new car insurance. And guess who has student loan bills to pay?

Moving on with your life because of a nice, new job is great.

Getting there sucks -- as all these assholes try to stick it to you.

This is the end...

This is the last "busy" week I will have until I leave and while parts of it might sadden me, I'm actually glad that next week will be a slacker week.

I was sad to see my last Town of Sumpter meeting. The board is hilarious. And they sent me out with a bang -- as the business for the evening was a tight deliberation on whether or not to join the Sauk Prairie Community Recreation Department's intergovernmental agreement.

In the end, the good outweighed the financial burdens and the board decided to trim some of the luxuries of a new road project to help the kids out. But this was the first time a split vote has occurred since Badger Ordnance was divided up, marking a historical night in Town of Sumpter politics.

While I enjoy covering Sumpter, I'm glad to see my chapter on Sauk City come to a close.

I dread those meetings because A) I don't enjoy reporting, B) I don't get off on being investigative and C) There are so many open government violations from time to time that I wouldn't even know where to begin.

Either way it's nice to see the month of June and my time at the Sauk Prairie Eagle coming to an end, so I can start a new chapter in Cheyenne, Wyo.

Westward, Ho! is launched

This is the official first post for Westward, Ho! the blog that will catalog the move that Adam and Megan plan to make to Cheyenne, Wyo. and what's happening out west in the Rocky Mountain states for those stuck in the Midwest.

This blog is a spin-off of "The Jefferson Street Rumblings," Adam's blog and "Megan, it's what's happening," a blog that catalogs Meganisms.