I finally got internet...

Ten years ago, life without the internet would not have been so bad.

But in the 21st century, living without an internet connection (even dial-up) is torture.

Sure, I made do over the course of the last week playing Xbox games and watching reruns of Simpsons and Seinfeld on DVD. Sure, I kept busy by Wednesday as I started my job.

But, today was much needed. Despite going to bed around 3:30 a.m. this morning after work, I somehow managed to wake up at 8:30 a.m. in time for the cable guy to install cable.

By noon, I had phone. Too bad UPS is retarded. (They showed up at 7:10 p.m.) What can brown do for me? How about deliver my fucking stuff on time? I even told the Customer Service Rep at Qwest that they should send their shit via the United States Postal Service, at least then I don't have to wait around all day with my thumb up my ass...

I found stuff to do however. I went to the YMCA to work out, and on my drive back I saw a sight that made me feel more at home -- Canadian Geese in a park near a pond. Shit that was cheap entertainment when I was a kid. My mom would give me a quarter, I'd buy a 16 oz. cup worth of corn and feed and feed the geese at Silver Lake in Rochester.

I stopped at our local Barnes and Noble -- which, much to my chagrin, closes at 9 p.m. But, if I'm working until 1 a.m., B&N trips will best be reserved for days off or online shopping. Whilst at B&N, I found Maddox's new book, "The Alphabet of Manliness."

So, I bought it. Which was a good move on my part -- despite the fact that I nearly maxxed out my credit card on gas on the way out here and am now waiting to be reimbursed, in addition to my first paycheck next Wednesday -- because I came home, turned on the TV and had "M*A*S*H" on in the background as I laughed for two hours while thumbing through this hilarious, yet evil, book. (I didn't need to laugh at "M*A*S*H" as I've seen the film about a million times -- but still managed to chuckle at the line: "I wonder how such a degenerated person ever reached a position of authority in the Army Medical Corps?" "He was drafted."

I expected the book to be,...quite manly with homages to Pirates, lumberjacks, beef jerky and the usual Maddox rhetoric (I can't believe I just used one of the $6 WSU English Department cliche and overused words...) of beating up old people, beating up children, eating hot sauce, beef jerky and why he rules. The thing is that Maddox would be an awesome Op/Ed writer at a college newspaper because he says things for pure shock value as countless pussies e-mail him to tell him he's an asshole or that they hope he rots in hell.

What's funny about that, though, is that this guy's Web site is the most popular site on the Internet and it grew solely by word-of-mouth.

The most productive thing I did today? I worked out and did laundry. Tomorrow I'm going to get a haircut and I might drive around for a bit? Haven't decided yet.

I might go get some Betta's, too, as Max (Betta Max) died before I even left. The new one will be named VHS.